he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
