i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
