And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
not ubering you a puppy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
