my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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