wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would ride that face into the sunset
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
