I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
