Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
