I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
