I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
