I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
