420 ftw
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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