Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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