well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
