no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
