I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
