Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
