I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
