HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
