The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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