I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
