I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
