My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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