all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dignity is for republicans.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
