Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
