Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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