what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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