I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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