I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You took a bar mat shot.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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