East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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