My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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