He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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