No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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