We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
