Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
