Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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