I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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