How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
