Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
