I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
