i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
