My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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