have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
