so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did I show you my penis last night?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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