If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
