her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
