I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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