U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
