he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
