Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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