Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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