I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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