Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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